Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Randomize
