Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
