5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
