her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
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