Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I stole a fireplace last night.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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