he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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