dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
