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Scissors
Fuck
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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