you have to choose: penises or morals?
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
