haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
