i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
