Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
