If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
