Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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