If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize