The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
He better not be in your backpack
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize
