to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
