why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Randomize
