his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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