we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
