is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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