NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize