I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I believe in your delicious
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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