Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
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