I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize