I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Maybe he injected his testicle?
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I am one with the molecules
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize
