if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
