I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
