I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Apparently you make a good broom.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
