dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
