is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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