This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
