Cold hands, warm shart.
I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
he shaved USA in his pubs
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize
