how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Randomize
