he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
