Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
3pm strippers are depressing
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
