I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
ugly people sure do ruin things
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
