Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
