Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
