I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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