That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
