I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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