operation harelip BJ is a go
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
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