he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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