Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
