so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize