he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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