fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
