There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
