Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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