Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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