My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Randomize
