I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
