I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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