I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
