no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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