dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
