genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
