Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
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