Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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