A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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