The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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