apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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