I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
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