Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
