You're my little dorito
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize