My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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