i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
You're like the curious george of whores
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
