So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Randomize
